Sunday, April 24, 2016

Repetitive Redundancies

 Hi folks:

I wrote this article for the SCBWI National Bulletin a few years back, yet I see in my critique partners' writing this very thing. I thought I'd refresh your memory.  Enjoy!

Repetitive Redundancies
By Gayle C. Krause

What kind of title is that? It means the same thing. Exactly my point! Many new writers are absolutely certain that they have assembled together a manuscript adhering to the basic essentials of good writing, combined together with creative imaginings, or true fact, which in my own personal opinion, is exactly the same as stamping it with a negative rejection form before it even gets sent out.

Redundancies are common in the writing of new authors; even some seasoned ones let them slip by. A writer must be aware of words that say the same thing twice. Being a writer in several critique groups, both live and online, I often see simple phrases written by fellow authors, which employ double words that have the same meaning. Sometimes writers, especially new ones, tend to get caught up in the content of their story or article, and fail to realize their wordiness simply destroys the flow. Readers then must reread the paragraph to understand what the writer was trying to say.

Some manuscript doctors suggest you slash and burn, cutting out unneeded words to make the piece more efficient. Although clarity and conciseness is our goal as writers, cutting out our favorite words or passages is not the key, however, checking for a few simple ways to reduce wordiness is.

Redundant phrases are the first place to look. Redundancies arise from three sources:
1.     wordy phrases
2.     obvious qualifiers
3.     using two or more synonyms together

One pair of words most commonly overused is repeat again. Either use repeat, or again, but not both. Below are a few others.

i.e. advance planning, invited guest, old adage, continue on, end result, final conclusion, free gift, identical match, new innovation, refer back, sudden impulse, sum total

It is also the author’s responsibility to choose powerful words for their writing. This technique is referred to as direct writing. They should make their words do their own work and not prop them up with over inflated phrases that don’t really mean anything. These phrases tend to make the piece wordy. Stronger words without supporting phrases make the piece more readable.

i.e. suggestions for replacements of wordy phrases

a considerable number of………………….many
at the present time………………………….now
based on the fact that………………………because
despite the fact that………………………..although
in connection with…………………………regarding

There are numerous strong words, which can replace weak ones or wordy phrases. The use of a thesaurus is essential in writing, and even then some phrases or words still need to be replaced.

            By keeping these few tips in mind as you write, or revise you will pare down verbosity and make your writing stronger, clearer and more concise. A writing style that is crisp and clear will attract an editor’s eye. J

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Book Review for Kara Thomas' THE DARKEST CORNERS

I'm pleased to present you with my review for Kara Thomas' new YA thriller titled, THE DARKEST CORNERS.

Kara Thomas’ The Darkest Corners is an amazing YA thriller. When Tessa Lowell left her small hometown at the age of nine she left so many secrets behind, but she didn’t know they were secrets until she returned nine years later. Memories of the Ohio River Monster, an evil murderer that killed her best friend’s cousin haunted her. Though she never saw the man, it was the memory of her own testimony that put the wrong man behind bars that plagued her.

The plot twists and turns. Red herrings abound, and when the reader is sure they have solved the mystery before Tessa, they are wrong. . . dead wrong! Just like the girls that were murdered. But not all of them were the victims of the Ohio River Monster. When Tessa and Callie put their heads together to compare their doubts about what adults persuaded them to say under oath when they were children, the results are surprising to Tessa, Callie, and the reader.

Thomas’ writing is dynamic, realistic, and wonderfully developed. The mantra on the front cover—Everyone has something to hide—describes the plotline perfectly!

Review by Gayle C. Krause

Author of RATGIRL: Song of the Viper

If you're looking for an exciting, fast-moving read, I highly recommend this book. :)

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Dancing with Bear and Suzanne Bloom in Florida

Today was a special day at Elsie Quirk Library in Englewood, Florida. 

Fellow author, and friend Suzanne Bloom did a presentation for children. Her drawing of Goose in Cowboy hat and boots enraptured the children as she began her presentation.

We danced with Bear.


 We drew with Goose, and we read with Suzanne.


and then moved on to BEAR CAN DANCE.

The children, parents and grandparents danced along with Bear after his story was over.

Each child colored Bear, Goose, and Fox, while Ms. Bloom autographed the children’s favorite book.

Children listened. . .

Children danced . . .

Children colored . . .

. . .and a good time was had by all!

Thank you, Suzanne.

Monday, February 8, 2016

The Heart of a Grumpy Bear - The Valen-tiny Contest

So happy Susannah has developed another fun writing contest. My entry for the first "Valentiny Writing Contest" is below. Looking forward to reading all of the great entries.

The Heart of a Grumpy Bear

“I don’t want chocolate candy.
I do not want a kiss.
This is one holiday
I surely can miss.”

“But Bear, I made this valentine,
cause you’re my bestest friend.”
“Oh, Rabbit, don’t be silly.
It’s just a foolish trend.”

Rabbit trudged away.
She dragged Bear’s special gift.
Tears ran down her cheeks
as she sniveled, sobbed, and sniffed.

Squirrel waited, hand –on-hip,
as Bear strolled to his cave.
“What are you doing?
“That’s no way to behave.

You hurt Rabbit’s feelings.”
“But, I don’t want a heart of red.”
 “This isn’t about you.
It’s about your friends, instead.”

So Bear sat and pondered
the meaning of the day.
And set off through the forest
to celebrate his way.

He gathered wild carrots,
green herbs, and strips of hay,
then added nuts and acorns
in a “Special Friend” Bouquet.

He dropped a note in Rabbit’s hole,
and one in Squirrel’s old tree.
Then sat upon a rock and wondered,
“Are they mad at me?”

Rabbit hip-hopped towards him.
Squirrel scurried to his side.
“This is for you, my friends.
I’m sorry that you cried.

But I don’t need a special day
or a fancy Valentine,
to know we’re friends in every way.
I love you ALL the time.”

Monday, January 4, 2016

Review of Hattie on Her Way by Clara Gillow Clark


I'm starting 2016 off with a review of a wonderful Middle Grade Historical Fiction novel titled, Hattie on Her Way by Clara Gillow Clark.

Eleven-Year-Old Hattie Basket longs to return to her home on the upper Delaware River, where she, her pa and her best friend raft the rapids. But with her ma recently passed on, her pa takes her to her grandmother's house at Kingston-on-the-Hudson.

Different river--different life--and one Hattie does not want any part of, until she discovers the soft side of her grandmother, the mystery that surrounds her old mansion, and the human bones she finds in the vegetable garden.

Clara Gillow Clark has an easy storytelling style that keeps the reader invested in Hattie's plight. The strong hawk, who survives peril with watchful eyes and strong heart is a perfect metaphor for Hattie and Gillow Clark skillfully weaves the hawk throughout her story.

If you like historical fiction told with the strong voice of a 19th century country girl, Hattie on Her Way is for you.

It's the second book in a series of three. Hill Hawk Hattie is the 1st book and The Secrets of Greymoor is the third.

You can find all of Clara Gillow Clark's books on  and Barnes and

If readers would like an autographed copy of any of the Hattie books, they can send an e-mail directly to Clara. claragillowclark(at)gmail(dot)com

Monday, December 7, 2015

A Word About Writing Seasonal Picture Books

Keep your eyes on Eastern Penn Point blog for a word about writing seasonal picture books. 

A word from ROCK STAR SANTA.


Monday, November 30, 2015




A few weeks ago I reviewed Samantha's novel, Super Freak. Middle grade readers, and even some adults will enjoy the fast-paced story of a one-of-a kind human girl, who lives in a totally supernatural town. She's the only one who has no special magic…at least, she thinks she is. I highly recommend Super Freak.

Here is the link from that review.;postID=829468544446157665;onPublishedMenu=posts;onClosedMenu=posts;postNum=1;src=postname